oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
