I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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