Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dicks are not precious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
