Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
