I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
