PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
