mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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