Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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