I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
