People with herpes should wear stickers.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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