I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
