I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
