but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
