I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
