i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
