It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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