I bet he comes in French.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
