How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i came on her dog
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
