hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
