Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
