My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
