I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
