You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
