Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
