My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
