Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
is wine microwaveable?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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