i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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