3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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