I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
