i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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