But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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