I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
