Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
