well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
