think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
