apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
