i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
