its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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