I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
