they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
