If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
