I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
