they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sobbing to NWA
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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