dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
