Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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