im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
