Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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