So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just pee around me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
as a side note pls kill me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
