So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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