The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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